WARNING: distressing content.
When the media reports on rape cases, we often focus on the perpetrator and survivor, however rarely are the children of rape addressed.
A Reddit thread has gone viral, asking the community, “People born due to rape, what’s it like/what do people think?”
The thread was tagged with ‘Serious’ replies only, meaning that the usual jokes and puns that the community might comment are banned.
Some people came forward with stories of how knowing they were born from rape has made them feel guilty about their existence, where others have taken a more pragmatic perspective.
One commenter only found out that they were born from rape when they were a teenager.
“My Mother was 17 and was raped by a man she grew up with. She gave me up for adoption because she wanted me to have a life free of the stigma of rape,” they wrote.
“My adoption was private and I decided at 15 to get in contact with her. We met and she cried the entire time, I had no idea of her past trauma at the time, I was confused. When I asked about my birth father she told me he knew I existed but that I shouldn’t get in contact with him.
“Years later I received a letter outlining what happened to her, and about my birth father’s suicide. My Mother had been guilt ridden for years. I told her that she did the right thing by giving me up and that I have a good life, that I’m not defined by the circumstance of my birth but rather by the life I lead and by the people who love me.”
Another commenter wrote simply, “I have never told my friends about it, it is weird to talk about. Most days I feel like I was never meant to exist.”
Another person mentioned that family politics got involved.
“My mom was raped by my dad when she got drunk at a party,” they wrote. “My dad was my mother’s best friend’s boyfriend that time. When my mother got pregnant, my grandmother’s brother threatened my dad so he would marry my mom. They got married and her marriage life was horrible. I just discovered this last year because my grandmother told me about it.
“I felt very upset because it felt like I’m the reason why she had to suffer for years. My father was very violent whenever they argue. They’re not together anymore and I’m very thankful for that.”
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