Stacey Dash has just opened up in a bare-all interview with PEOPLE about her experiences with abuse as a child, drugs and violence and a near-abortion experience. The Clueless star is known for her conservative views and has often been known to shock, however this is the first time she’s opened up about pain in her past.
Abuse in her life started when she was just four years old – she reports that she was molested by a 16-year-old family friend. By her 20s, she was already heavily involved in the drug scene, and fell into an intense addiction.
“When you get stuff for free, you have no self-worth. When you have no self-worth, you become depressed, addicted and either abused or an abuser. This is what perpetuates the cycle of violence in inner cities. We don’t need free stuff. We need opportunities.”
Stacey has even said that she has experienced intense physical abuse in her 20s from a dangerous relationship.
“He would punch me in my body, my legs, my chest, anything that could be covered,” she said. “But part of me felt like I deserved it because what I was coming from was no better. I didn’t have an identity. That’s why I fight for women and people in the inner cities today. I want them to know it will get better.”
During another relationship, with singer Christopher Williams, when she was pregnant she fell into a difficult situation.
“When I got pregnant, I was doing a lot of drugs and I didn’t want to live. I wanted to die. I was going to have an abortion. I was crying and I said to God, ‘Please tell me what to do.’ And God told me, ‘Keep your son.’ I ripped the IV out of my arm and I said, ‘I’m keeping my son.'”
See PEOPLE for more on the full interview and photos with Stacey.