Toxic men were a staple of Sex And The City. In the original series’ six-season run, there are only a handful of men we’d deem date-worthy–and that’s still a stretch.
But which loser reigns supreme?
Was it the sailor who asked to see Charlotte’s (Kristen Davis) boobs after a brief conversation? Was it the one who offered to buy her boobs at the Playboy Mansion? Was it the guy who stole a second-hand book? The guy who yelled at everyone? Well, let’s face it, they were all terrible.
But who did the marie claire team single-out as their most-hated Sex And The City man? Read on.
Jack Berger
The votes were high for one Jack Berger (Ron Livingston) – the failing novelist with an unforgiveable penchant for scrunchies and post-its. Here’s what the team had to say:
“Picking the worst man in Sex and the City is like picking my favourite outfit: all of them are bad (the men) and all of them are good-ish (the outfits), in unique and terrible ways. The obvious answer is the walking red flag known as Berger, but we all agree how bad he was. (A POST-IT NOTE? If this was 2023, Burger would have ghosted but watched all of Carrie’s Instagram stories forever.)” – Alex Bruce-Smith, Digital Managing Editor
“He broke up with her via a pathetic Post-It note that said: ‘I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.’ It was the ’90s equivalent of ghosting, which we can probably all agree is the lowest of the low.” – Hillary Board, Senior Copy Editor
Wade Adams (the comic book guy)
“Remember Wade (Cane Peterson)? The pot smoking overgrown man-child who not only still lives with his mum, but also throws Carrie under the bus when his mum asks who brought weed into the house? Talk about getting the ick!
“While Big (Chris Noth), Aidan (John Corbett) and Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov) all had plenty of cons, at least they were men with their shit together.
“Carrie was way too chic to be slumming it with this stoner and his bucket of fried chicken. I’ve dated this boy; we’ve all dated this boy – and we all regret dating this boy.” – Bree Player, Features Editor
(For those unfamiliar, Wade pops up in season three’s ‘Hot Child In The City’ episode, which also guest stars Kat Dennings.)
The Modelizer
“I’m saving this oh-so-special pick for the Modelizer, a.k.a. Carrie’s artist friend Barkley who views sleeping with models as sport, and secretly video tapes them to boot. First of all, it shows how dated Sex and the City is that we’re treating a sex crime as a silly little sub-plot, but second of all… no, that’s enough. Sex crimes = bad. I won’t even get into whatever psychological disease this guy has that means he treats women as lands to be conquered by sticking his dick in them (I think it’s called ‘sexual-politics-of-the-90s-itis’), and just leave it that.” – Alex Bruce-Smith, Digital Managing Editor
(Barkley appeared in season one, episode two ‘Models & Mortals’.)
Jim ‘The Asshole’
“He’s basically known as ‘the asshole guy’, so, enough said. Jim (Dominic Fumusa) previously dated Carrie, who described his post-break up behaviour as, to use contemporary terms, flat-out abusive. He then dated Miranda and couldn’t resist passive aggressively negging his ex-girlfriend/new girlfriend’s best friend until everyone involved could agree: he was definitely the asshole.” – Rebecca Mitchell, Senior Digital Writer
(Jim appeared in season three, episode 16 ‘Frenemies’.)
John ‘Mr Big’ Preston
“While there’s no denying that Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Mr Big had chemistry, he was by far her most toxic ex. In the initial part of their relationship, he was a complete commitment-phobe, not even allowing her to keep stuff at his flat. There is nothing less self-affirming than being denied the basics in a relationship right from the start. Then, Big just decides to up and leave for Paris without consulting Carrie. When she meekly asks if she should consider following him there, he deadpans, ‘But you’d be moving to Paris for yourself, right? I mean, don’t move for me.’ Ew. Major ick.
“After all this, despite taking the plunge with Natasha (Bridget Moynahan), Big ends up cheating on her with Carrie. Like, sir, if you wanted Ms Bradshaw, you should have just married her the first time around? Also, why ruin Natasha’s life as collateral, HUBBLE?!? Rude. Obviously, Carrie is at fault here too, having cheated on Aidan, but at this point the woman is starry-eyed having been gaslit for so long. Can we really blame her?
“Big is the epitome of the man that only wants what he can’t have. Insanely jealous of Carrie’s relationship with Aidan, but unable to commit himself. While there’s no denying that Big and Carrie mended their dumpster fire of a relationship over the years (before his untimely demise), I will never forgive him for leaving her at the altar. Unforgivable, end of.” – Cassandra Green, Senior Digital Writer
Trey MacDougal
“Charlotte’s trust-fund cardiologist husband Trey MacDougal (Kyle MacLachlan) seemed like a catch on paper with the wealth and society status to match Charlotte’s. But when Charlotte found out after she married Trey about his erectile dysfunction (which he refused to address or work through with Charlotte) as well as their incompatibility in the bedroom, things quickly went awry. Couple this with Trey’s loopy mother Bunny (Frances Sternhagen), who babied him and controlled his every decision, this was a relationship doomed to failure.” – Sally Hunwick, Beauty Director
You can stream all seasons of ‘Sex And The City’ and ‘And Just Like That…’ on BINGE.