When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought I knew what I was in store for: weight gain, weird cravings, and the dreaded morning sickness.
After all, Iโve seen my fair share of rom-coms and being the youngest daughter of four sisters, Iโve heard a scary tale or two.
But there were a few things that I was certainly not expecting. Like vaginal massages (yes, itโs a thing). Or the awkwardness of pregnancy sex. Or, more importantly, the sometimes overwhelming sense of isolation that can come with the territory.
1. Put down that extra bowl of pasta
Iโm sorry to break it to you, but that old adage joke about โeating for twoโ? Itโs complete nonsense. In fact, your calorie intake doesnโt have to increase at all in the first trimester, and only 300 and 500 extra calories are needed in the second and third trimesters, respectively. Doctor Charlotte Elder of The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists puts it like this: โYouโre not eating for two, but you do have to eat enough nutrients for two.โ Dr. Elder also suggested, โpregnant women should take a pregnancy vitamin to cover the key nutrients they might not be getting in their diet.โ
2. Vaginal massages
There are a lot of things women are encouraged to do during pregnancy so it all goes smoothly: oils to avoid stretch marks, regular exercise and avoiding risquรฉ foods, to name a fewโฆ. Oh, plus, perineum stretching, AKA vaginal massages. Many women are terrified of the tearing that can occur during labour from pushing โ and with good reason. Itโs not pretty, but it is normal. Perineum stretching is one way to potentially prevent this. โYou can either do perineum stretching manually or purchase a device that gradually increases in size,โ Perth based Registered Midwife, Sarafine Nichols explains. She also points out โthe jury is still out on whether or not it actually helps reduce tearing.โ From my personal experience, it doesnโt work. You get the picture.
3. Youโre not going to get any sleep. Re-read that three times.
Surprise! Babies arenโt born the best sleepers โ unless youโre one of those few lucky parents whom the rest of us naturally hate. But what they donโt tell you is, the sleeplessness kick in way before your baby actually arrives. Between indigestion (which is worse when youโre lying flat because stomach acid climbs up your throat โ yay!) and the nocturnal football matches being played in your uterus, kiss the idea of a good nightโs sleep goodbye. Dr. Elder says โsleeplessness is usually worse towards the end of pregnancy, but morning sickness during the early stages can also make it difficult to fall asleep.โ
4. The awkwardness of pregnancy sex
If youโre not going to be getting any sleep anyway, why not try having some one on one time with your partner, you say? Letโs just take a second to remember the scene in Knocked Up when Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl fail miserably at trying to get their freak on. Got it? Good, because thatโs scarily accurate. I will clarify that no, you canโt squash your baby while in the act, but that doesnโt mean itโs not going to be all kinds of awkward. There arenโt many things more disturbing than feeling your baby kick whilst you are doing the deed. Even thinking about it now, I cringe.

5. Your attitude to sex will change
However ridiculous it may be (and look) some women canโt get enough sex when theyโre pregnant. โSome of it is to do with hormones โ when youโre pregnant the level of estrogen and progesterone are very high which makes them feel sexy,โ Dr. Elder says. At the other end of the spectrum, some women find they have almost no libido at all. Itโs not uncommon for the changing shape of your body to be a little too much, and a lot of women just donโt feel comfortable in their own skin. Hills star, Whitney Port, shared her experience with this, telling E! she hadnโt had sex with her husband for quite some time because โ she didnโt feel sexy.โ Preach, sister.
6. Weird Dreams
Just when you thought your sacred sleep couldnโt be meddled with anymore, pregnancy goes and throws a knock out punch. With all those extra hormones reeking havoc on your body, it shouldnโt come to a surprise that they can also affect your mind. Cue: really strange dreams. Early on in my pregnancy, before I even knew I was expecting, I had a dream that I was attacked by a swarm of wasps. Upon Googling, I discovered that this was actually an Iraqi pregnancy omen. Spooky, right?
7. Pregnancy aches and pains
You get it; youโre going to be tired! But there are a few more things you need to watch out for. A major one is back pain. โBecause you grow out towards the front when youโre pregnant it changes your center of gravity, tilting your pelvis forward and your lower back can develop a sway, causing a strain on your hips and your back,โ Dr. Elder says. Another thing is, weakened immunity. Normally your immunity looks out for invaders. But you donโt want it to reject the pregnancy, as it would do to any potential risk to your health, so it shifts a bit to protect your baby. Often this leads to more coughs and colds which might last longer and may be more severe.โ

8. Varicose veins and hemorrhoids
Pregnancy IS a beautiful thing, but there are a couple of things that donโt feel quite so magical. Varicose veins and hemorrhoids are incredibly common โdue to more pressure on the veins during pregnancy. These can appear in all sorts of places, from your legs, to your face, and anywhere in between (think boobs and vagina). When youโre pregnant your have more blood in your veins, this means they get swollen,โ Dr. Elder explains. She also recommends compression stockings to help with varicose veins. But donโt panic, these usually goes away!
9. (Pre) Baby Blues
Last, and most certainly not least, anxiety and depression are extremely common during pregnancy. In fact, Dr. Elder explained that itโs โ more common in women who are pregnant than those who have never been.โ She says there are two contributing factors to this mental shift: โOne, hormones โ some people are very sensitive to hormonal changes and it makes a huge difference to their moodโ. The other is circumstantial, โas major life changes can be a time of stress.โ Dr. Elder also stated, โThe number one time for women to suffer from domestic violence is during pregnancy which is big risk factor for mental healthโ.
If youโre suffering from perinatal depression or anxiety, contact PANDA on 1300 726 306.