When supporting someone who is struggling with their mental health finding the right words can be difficult, and despite the best of intentions, some comments can do more harm than good.
Thatโs why Hattie Gladwell, a lifestyle reporter for MetroUK, started the hashtag #ThingsNotToSayToPeopleWithMentalIllness, calling for those with a mental illness to tweet their suggestions in a bid to educate those who donโt understand.
โQuote this tweet with one thing you wish people wouldnโt say to those who have mental illness,โ she wrote. โIโll start: โOther people have it worseโ. Please donโt invalidate my illness just because you donโt understand it.โ
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โEveryone else is dealing with life, so why canโt you?โ
โ Paddy O'Brien (@Paddy_OBrien71) April 16, 2018
Instead, try supporting me by saying: "You seem to be having a difficult time and I just want you to know that Iโm here."#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/aOJ4W5Kqy2
After I tell someone I have OCDโฆ
โ Cynthia Barnes (@Cyn_Barnes) April 16, 2018
"I wish I had OCD, my house would be a lot cleaner."#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/zBSHUnAtzq
'Its all in your head. You're making it up.' #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
โ Eleanor Segall Mandelstam (@EleanorSegall) April 17, 2018
"You're too young to be depressed!"
โ Elliot Leaver โญโญ (@elliotleaver92) April 16, 2018
Yeah, I was told this once. ๐ #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
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โBut you have nothing to be sad aboutโ ๐ถ
โ Rach Knowles (@Knowlesey95) April 16, 2018
If only it were that easy! #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/bFB2qxbeGn
โWell, you were fine yesterday.โ Yes, I know, and now Iโm suicidal. How do you think itโs inside MY head? #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/r6SvL2kFvJ
โ Cas (@cmplxdcassandra) April 16, 2018
'Think positive'
โ Imogen Rowe (@icerowe) April 16, 2018
I know this phrase is probably well meaning, but it's annoying as I wish it was that simple! ๐ก#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/EycBocDAPS
โRelaxโ or โHave you tried yoga?โ #ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness https://t.co/9jso9hULuh
โ Dr Carolina Are ๐๐ป bloggeronpole (@bloggeronpole) April 16, 2018
#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
โ Haidee Ball (@haidee_ball) April 17, 2018
"Yeah, but it was a long time ago."
Really? I hadn't noticed. Not like I sometimes spend months going over, and over, and over it, picking apart every rotten thing that's happened since, and linking it back to right thereโฆ. https://t.co/15KbwFyrYH
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#ThingsNotToSayToSomeoneWithMentalIllness
โ Smeary (@Smeary) April 19, 2018
-anything about God/Fate/This is the Life Chosen for you bullshit
-but you don't look depressed/bipolar/etc
-it's the medication you are taking, you should really try something more natural
-it could be worse
-we ALL feel like that pic.twitter.com/hMBBKAxiNQ
Hattie points out a sensible rule of thumb โ if you wouldnโt say it to someone experiencing physical ill health, donโt say it to someone experiencing mental ill health. And often, itโs the most simple statements will suffice.
Are you ok?
How are you?
I am here for you.
If you are worried about yourself or someone in your care, the best thing you can do is talk to someone.
You can contact:
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
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Lifeline 13 11 14
SANE Australia 1800 187 263
This article originally appeared in Womenโs Health Australia.
Lauren Williamson is a digital writer, editor and social media fiend who's a huge fan of tackling new wellness trends, eating her way through foreign countries and getting worked up over politics.
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