Actress, singer-songwriter and performer Jennifer Lopez, or J.Lo as she is affectionately known, is getting real about love, heartbreak and learning to be happy alone – and honestly, she’s never been more relatable.
For years, we’ve watched her personal dramas and somewhat turbulent love life play out in public, as the world looked on with varying degrees of shock, sympathy and sometimes, second-hand embarrassment. But in her first interview post divorce, it’s clear that Lopez’s (somewhat) chaotic life choices might’ve just been an unavoidable symptom of an affliction that’s both a gift, and a curse. J. Lo loves love – and who are we to judge her?
It seems like only yesterday that the rebirth of Bennifer 2.0 became a form of collective therapy for a world that had given up on the concept of soulmates. And only recently that such devotion had inspired the singer to commit the story of their fairytale ending to the silver screen, with a “musical and visual reimagining” of their love for This Is Me… Now. Things were finally looking up for our unlucky-in-love gal, and if J. Lo could do it, then so could we!
Or so we all thought…
On August 20th, 2024, just shy of two years after the couple eloped in a surprise Vegas ceremony, Bennifer came to an abrupt end with Lopez filing for divorce.
Since then, no one could deny that the girl’s been through it. Not only was her joyously camp, $20 million (yes – that was her own money) ode-to-Ben universally stated as giving everyone “the ick”, but its contents led to such a pile-on that it almost felt like Lopez’s star might be permanently dimmed.
After cancelling her US tour dates because she wanted to “focus on her family”, the internet was quick to point to a plummeting public sentiment having led to poor ticket sales as the ‘real’ reason. And so, Jen’s summer of sadness continued.
Nowhere has her hopeless romantic badge been on full display more than during her candid conversation – her first post-divorce – with comedian Nikki Glaser for Interview Magazine. In it, Lopez opens up about everything from the breakdown of her marriage, to how childhood insecurity led to a life-long search for validation, and shares some truly heartbreaking and vulnerable moments that have only made us love her more.
Read on for some of our favourite takeaways.
Jennifer Lopez Talks About Her Journey With Self-Esteem
While we know J. Lo is just a girl, standing in front of a guy, asking him to love her, what wasn’t as clear, was just how childhood experiences had manifested in adult life.
When Glaser asks about her journey with self esteem, Lopez answers: “My whole life has been proving my enoughness. Dealing with feeling like you’re enough, from when you’re very young, is something that you don’t figure out for a long time, because you’re not looking at yourself like that.”
“It was just being ignored, being a middle child, having a very outgoing mom and a dad who worked all day and worked all night and feeling like you weren’t important, like you weren’t a priority. That embeds in you…”
“You don’t even really know until those things start manifesting in your actual adult relationships,” she continues. “Oh, I’m comfortable with this person ignoring me. I’m comfortable with this person treating me this way or that way.” That, for me, has been a journey.”
J. Lo Opens Up About What She’s Learnt From Heartbreak
When asked about the backlash she received after This Is Me… Now, Lopez spoke about the devastating experience of watching something you were so proud of, be publicly destroyed.
“I felt like, whoa, I got here. I’m good. I did all the work and look at where I am, and then it was like my whole f***ing world exploded.”
“There’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, ‘Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson.’ And I hadn’t,” she adds.
“I understand that now in a much deeper way, which doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, ‘How do I not ever let that happen again?’”
Lopez Comments On Life Post-Divorce
“It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate. But when you sit in those feelings and go, ‘These things are not going to kill me,’ it’s like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself. Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.”
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good.” she continues.
“It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, “… that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god…. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a f***ing sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again.”
Jennifer Lopez Speaks About Being “Free”
Glaser likened Lopez’s experience to “running with a weighted vest and a parachute behind you”, to which Lopez responds:
“Yes, I’m not looking for anybody, because everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I f***ing do when it’s just me flying on my own—”
“What if I’m just free?”
On Learning To Be Alone
“For people who are romantics and love being in relationships and want to grow old with somebody, we think, “I have to have that to be whole and happy.” And you don’t.”
“You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t,” she says before adding, “And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’”
