Ah internships, the very necessary (sometimes painful) career stepping stones. At the best of times, they involve satisfying work and lead to solid job opportunities (think Jane on The Bold Type). At the worst, they involve meaningless tasks, picking up coffee/dry cleaning/conjunctivitis medication (think Andy in The Devil Wears Prada).
What is often cited as a “voluntary yet informative experience” as some will attest to, can also be cited as “an unnecessary, time wasting experience that DOESN’T PAY THE BILLS”.
As comedy writers we found the internship space a bit of a laugh and although many corporations and companies offer free working positions to young people in an effort to “launch” their careers, we felt that more often than not these internships were no more useful than buying a gym membership, only to find yourself slumped in the spa and sauna facilities before reaching for that fourth glass of savy b.
So to distract from our obvious disdain for bad internships, we’ve come together to give you our top five tips to make any internship or “volunteer based learning program blah blah whatever you want to call it”, bearable…
Tip 1: Pretend it’s your birthday. This is a great opportunity for your colleagues to learn your name, maybe throw a little work lunch in your honour with a potential for cake and a song sung to celebrate you. Hopefully for your sake, you’ve left the job before important documents such as birth certificates are required for staff profiling.
Tip 2: Take this opportunity to splash out on a sweet new wardrobe. Dress up, try new things. Bask in that Pretty Woman makeover moment we all deserve. Not only is this your chance to experiment with new outfits that you aren’t yet confident enough to wear around your friends, be sure to claim all the clothes on tax as a work expense to make up for the money THAT THEY’RE NOT PAYING YOU.
Tip 3: Take a moment to feel important whilst you sit at your desk or where ever you may be placed in the internship. It’s fun to feel important from time to time even when you have no idea what you’re doing or if you’re even doing anything at all. Sit (or stand) there proud and soak up this feeling. There’s a possibility you may never get a job again in the saturated market and let’s face it, you’ve already wasted a lot of your time working for free so why not take a minute for yourself, even if it means staring out a window for several minutes.
Tip 4: Make friends in high places. Yes, you are working for free but this is your chance to gain insight into all your bosses little secrets, which you could then potentially exploit later. This could work either in the form of blackmail or just general fun with the girls later.
Tip 5: Complete all life admin at work! They have everything, free internet, free envelopes, stamps, fancy pens. Even slip in a little dry cleaning and lump it in with your bosses while you’re at it. Make sure all those nasty little errands are done at your internship so you can go home and enjoy your life to the fullest.
Helena Ruse and Pippa Mills are co-creators of popular Australian sketch comedy group the Leftovers along with Andrew Mills. They currently star in the comedy series Internment, a six-part series featuring the internship from hell! Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRpehdQi1OF9bWrMAkyMuXQ
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