The idea of a “maternal lightbulb moment” is ingrained in societal expectations – somewhere around our 30s, we’re supposed to suddenly yearn for motherhood. But for Laura Henshaw, co-founder of KIC, that moment never quite materialised.
On an episode of Beyond Expectations, ELLE Australia’s podcast about modern fertility and motherhood, presented by Elevit, Henshaw sits down with host Alison Izzo to explore a path that deviates from the expected.
Henshaw admits that she felt ashamed of the uncertainty she experienced about having children. “We live in a prenatal society, where the expectation is that we will have children,” she says. This assumption often leaves little room for the women who don’t feel an innate drive toward motherhood. Henshaw found herself looking around, wondering why she hadn’t felt that maternal urge.
As she reflects on her journey, Henshaw recalls a time when her friends quickly moved from contraception conversations to pregnancies and parenthood, leaving her questioning if something was wrong with her. “I blinked and all my friends were pregnant or had kids. I started to feel like, what is wrong with me?”
Instead of ignoring her doubt, Henshaw delved deeper. Through her podcast, she began conversing with women who had chosen to be child-free and even consulted a parenthood clarity mentor, which led her to a surprising discovery: she wasn’t alone.
“There’s a generational shift happening where more women are questioning the traditional path to motherhood,” Henshaw says. However, without mainstream examples to follow, this journey feels daunting. “We haven’t had a role model,” she shares. “We’re paving the path for people who have chosen to be child-free or who may not be able to have children, and that hasn’t really been there for us.”
But it’s not just feelings of uncertainty at play. Financial pressure, environmental concerns, and the instability of modern careers are all significant factors. “The cost of living is a huge one,” she explains. “If I’m renting, or we don’t have financial stability, having a child becomes a scary decision.”
The path to parenthood isn’t as clear-cut as biology or instinct anymore. As Henshaw points out, “just because you’re good with kids or like kids doesn’t mean you have to have them.”
Now, Henshaw and her partner Dalton are on the same page: they do want children – just not right now. This is perhaps the most refreshing aspect of her story – the reminder that clarity doesn’t always come in an instant. Sometimes, it’s a slow journey of doubt, exploration, and deeply honest conversations.
“Once you make the decision, you can have a wonderful life whether you have children or not,” Henshaw says. “The answer won’t come from the outside – it will only come from within.”
Listen to Laura’s episode on Beyond Expectations and others now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
