After a few days break from Married At First Sight, we’re back for another round of weddings. You didn’t think we could have any more weddings did you? It is, frankly, far too many weddings.
Anyway, the first couple up is Belinda, the dancer with the great hair who doesn’t think she’s pretty and has never had a boyfriend, and Patrick, a sweet angel who says he doesn’t get much attention from the opposite sex, which baffles him because he’s “not Brad Pitt, but he’s not Tony Abbott either”. LOL. But also can we all be honest and say Tony in budgie smugglers does, kind of, do something for us?
The experts feel they’ll be this big ball of kindness together, which is probably true. Then we meet Russell, who the experts worry is just *too* single. As in, he’s been single for ages and is now super set in his ways. Russell spends his days fishing, dirtbike riding and cooking really nice cutlets until they’re void of all taste and calling it “well done steak”.
They put Russell with Beth, who is 39 and wants someone super down to Earth. She really, really wants kids – she says she focused on her career all through her 30s and now is finding herself single and childless. In a really sweet moment, expert Mel tells her how she did the same thing, met her partner at 39 and had her baby at 42. It’s a nice moment!
First it’s Belinda and Patrick’s wedding. They’re both super nervous but once they meet at the altar they seem like a perfect match. Later they have the most awkward photo shoot ever, but in a cute way you know? They’re just two awkward little eggs and I love them together.
Beth and Russell’s wedding doesn’t go as well. He is blown away by her, but she’s not really into his sense of humour. To be fair, he makes some terrible dad jokes but hey, maybe they should have matched him with a dad joke fan?
She has a bit of an emotional breakdown at the photo shoot afterward, she says because she’s overwhelmed but I got the distinct impression she’s really, really not into Russell and the thought of weeks locked in a tiny serviced apartment with the bloke was giving her hives.
At the reception for Belinda and Patrick, Belinda goes a bit weird on him and he starts to get worried, but she was just nervous because, for some reason, she decides that their wedding would be the perfect time to do an interpretive dance. It’s incredibly awkward but then again, their entire relationship is awkward-cuteness so I suppose it kind of works? He loves it, and they go off together to make out. Seriously. It’s so cute.
Beth and Russell just go from bad to worse. She tells us she wants to give it a shot but she’s worried he’s either not opening up to her, or he’s just not for her at all and there’s no chemistry. It really does just feel like a bad match, to be honest.
But then he does open up to her a bit, telling her how his mum passed away five years prior, and he still dirtbike rides with his nephews because it was a family bonding thing they all did together. He’s written her a letter from before he met her, and gotten her a necklace. She seems to like it all but not LIKE like it… I don’t see this one going anywhere, unfortunately.
The best bit of the episode is when they go to bed and he has pyjama pants printed with Kombi vans. And the fact he apparently has multiple pairs of them that he’s brought away for the honeymoon. Outstanding.
Melissa Mason is digital editor of marie claire. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram.
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