Becoming a mother is rarely a straightforward journey, and for Ellidy Pullin, the path to motherhood was anything but typical. After the sudden death of her partner, two-time Olympian Alex “Chumpy” Pullin, she made an extraordinary decision that few could even imagine: posthumous sperm retrieval. With this decision, Ellidy gave birth to the baby they had once hoped to have together, carrying out a plan they had envisioned as a couple, but now realised alone.
Pullin recently shared her deeply personal story of grief, love, and the challenges of solo parenthood on Beyond Expectations, a podcast by ELLE Australia in partnership with Elevit that delves into the complexities of modern motherhood. Her experience reveals the emotional and physical hurdles she faced in navigating the uncharted territory of becoming a mother after such a profound loss.
Alex and Ellidy had been together for eight years, their lives intertwined in shared dreams of a future together. Chumpy, a celebrated professional snowboarder, was her “person.” Their relationship was built on a foundation of love and plans to start a family. However, tragedy struck in 2020, when Chumpy died unexpectedly while spearfishing near their home on the Gold Coast, a loss that captured the world’s attention.
In the wake of her grief, Ellidy made a decision that would change the course of her life: posthumous sperm retrieval, a rare and emotionally charged procedure that allowed her to try to conceive a child with Chumpy. This option, however, came with an intense time constraint. Just days after his death, Ellidy was approached by friends with the suggestion to undergo the procedure, explaining that it had to be done within a narrow 24-hour window. “I was out in the backyard just with my head and my heart, and I just go, ‘yeah, yes, go,’” Pullin recalls.
The process was grueling. Pullin, in the midst of raw grief, underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) alone, enduring the physical and emotional toll of the procedure. “It didn’t feel like that one was right or that one was going to stick, weirdly,” she reflects on her first round of IVF. “I’d never been an intuitive person until after Chumpy passed away.” But despite her initial doubts, Ellidy’s determination to carry on their dream of parenthood remained unwavering.
Their daughter, Minnie, was born in late 2021—an embodiment of the love Ellidy and Chumpy once shared. However, the arrival of Minnie didn’t erase the grief. “I’m so blessed to have her,” Ellidy says, but she admits that her grief has only deepened over time. “You’d think it would get easier… I actually miss him more and more now than ever.”
Years later, the pain of losing Chumpy is still present. “I would throw all this away in a heartbeat to have my boy back,” Ellidy confesses. “It’s been five years. I’m still alone. I miss him so much. Every day is not easy doing this on my own.” The grief remains an unyielding companion as she continues to raise Minnie without Chumpy by her side.
Ellidy’s story is not one of simple survival, but of resilience and continued love. Through her podcast Darling, Shine! and her memoir, she keeps Chumpy’s memory alive while also offering solidarity to others experiencing loss. “Grief is so not linear,” she says. “A lot of people are like, righto, in a year or two you might just find someone new and move on. And I’m like, hang on. I’m sadder right now than I ever bloody have been, and I’m not trying to move on.”
Ellidy’s journey is a testament to the truth that some love stories do not end—they evolve. Her experience has become a source of strength for many who are navigating their own journeys of loss, resilience, and the redefinition of family.
You can listen to the full conversation with Ellidy Pullin on the Beyond Expectations podcast, available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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