Are you sitting down? Good, because we’ve got bad news and bad news, and you’re not going to like it.
Climate change is already screwing over the world, threatening to turn our favourite city (New York) into an underwater paradise, and completely changing the landscape of our beautiful natural habitat.
But today the bad news got even worse, with a new study revealing that climate change could wipe coffee beans from the face of the Earth by 2080, and no that’s not some kind of a sick joke.
It all comes down to the rising mercury, providing a breeding ground for fungi that attacks the delicious, delicious coffee bean crop. And it gets worse: The boffins at The Climate Institute who have completed the research even said that in the next 35 years the coffee crop could halve with the loss of suitable land for farming the java.
By 2080 it will all be well and truly over, and an industry that employs 125 million people around the world will be gone.
In situations like these – disaster movies, the worldwide Prosecco shortage – we’re always cautioned to stay calm and hope for the best. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Just as soon as we’ve stocked up on our favourite brand of joe.