Gay dad: My family is not an "atrocity"

My name’s Adam. I live with my eight-year-old son Austin and my partner Barry. Austin was born via a surrogate in Texas, Darla, who we’re close to and contact regularly over Skype. Austin goes to a co-ed school where both the teachers and other students have always been completely supportive of our family. He loves basketball, athletics and swimming. He doesn’t much like lollies, probably because I own a lolly shop and he’s always around them.

In short, Austin is like any other eight-year-old boy. But I’m worried that’s about to change.

For the first time in my life I’m fearful Austin is going to be made to feel like a second-class citizen.

The Australian Christian lobby and other critics of same-sex marriage are determined to hit children and families with their bigotry and hatred. They’ve decided that these kids should be compared to the Stolen Generation and accusing families like mine of committing atrocities is the way to get their ugly message across.

It’s not about what adults like me have to deal with. We’re big enough to cope. It’s about kids like Austin who may, for the first time, be exposed to the idea that not everyone thinks they – or their mums or their dads – are normal. When it happens and he hears that first cruel word from wherever it comes, l’ll try to tell him that everyone is equal. And that no one has the right to judge other people’s personal lives. It’s not right. But it’s a big ask for an eight-year-old to comprehend when he doesn’t understand that it’s an issue in the first place.

Adam, Austin and Barry and their surrogate family in Texas. — Adam, Austin and Barry with Austin’s surrogate and family in Texas.

I’ve considered taking Austin out of the country for a few months to keep him shielded from it all. But my mother and my sister, who are very close to my little boy, have convinced me that running away from the problem won’t help things. I had to shut the TV off the other day when the rhetoric became too heated. I’ve taken Facebook off my phone because I couldn’t believe some of the vile things I was reading.

It’s just too much for me. I don’t want to be around it.

The irony is that these groups pretend to be concerned with children yet I know that their words and vitriol will destroy children. How many kids will be lost to suicide because of the way their own country and politicians are making them feel? I’m an adult – if I’m already feeling this anxiety I can’t imagine how someone younger, who may not have even come out, is feeling.

We just want this to stop. We want it over with. Same-sex marriage is inevitable and this long, ugly process is just cruel. It needs to finish soon so politicians can go back to doing what they’re meant to do – running the country and letting the rest of us live our lives in peace.